Sermon: John 13:31-38 Love One Another

 Another one of my sermons, including framing notes at the start, and stuff that didn't make the cut at the end.

John 13:31-38 sermon

In light of Jesus’ death, he makes three points:

1)      It will glorify God

2)      The disciples can’t go with him – this is something only Jesus can do

3)      Our job is to love one another

When Peter tries to take God’s job, he is reminded of the irony

4)      we don’t die for God, he dies for us

With Judas’ betrayal, the capture, trial and crucifixion of Jesus is imminent (and with it, the resurrection).

God will be glorified (that is, his glory will be revealed) through what is about to happen. Not eventually; he will be glorified at once, right now, through what is happening at this moment in history.

Jesus has talked about this before, but with his enemies. To them, he said they would die in their sins because they don’t know the Father and have not recognized the Son. But these are “my children”; they cannot come because while Jesus’ role on this earth is nearly complete, the role of the disciples has so, so much more to go.

And that’s wrapped up in his “new” command: love one another. Yes, the focus is on the family of believers. And yes, this is missional – our love for those outside the church is the invitation for them to join us; our love for those inside the church is why the invitation is worth accepting. And all that love together is the supernatural sign which shows that Jesus is involved.

Laying down our lives is an easy offer to make (but a harder one to follow through on!); Christ calls most of us to take up our crosses daily. We may well follow later – but at this moment it was Christ’s job, and that is something we have to leave to him.

Note also the amazing irony in v37 which points out the laughable inadequacy of our attempts to “stand up for God”, where Peter says, “I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus response is, “Will you really lay down your life for me?” Peter can’t even stay faithful for the next few hours; meanwhile Christ lays down his life for all humankind.

 

At Christmas time, everyone has a role to play, even kids. For most of our married life, Penny and I have spent Christmas with her family – the Towers – and each year the family take turns hosting and catering, each year Phil has to put on the silly hat and hand out presents, each year Greg supplies Christmas music. With the birth of the first grandchild – Zach –Christmas will probably focus around Zach for the next decade or so, and so it’s Zach’s role to be the centre of gift giving; I’m guessing maybe that Santa will start playing a much larger role in our Christmases than he has for the last few decades.

At the family Christmas, there are some roles that anyone can fill – like giving or receiving gifts, everyone does that. And some roles only certain people can fill. Only one person can host, for example. We’re hosting the family Christmas at our house in Thornleigh this year. If Penny’s brother was hosting it in Newcastle on the same day, that would put the family in an impossible position: they can’t be in both places at once! We can’t both play the role of host.

We’re continuing with our sermons in John, and if you look in your Bibles at the passage we’re going through today – John 13:31-38 – you might see a heading something like “Jesus predicts Peter’s denial”, which is a shame because while that does happen, it is probably not the key focus of this passage. This is Jesus’ farewell discourse – his final words to those who he knows will stay faithful to him long into the future – and it goes for the next few chapters. In this first section, Jesus focuses on what roles everyone has to play in this most monumental moment in history.

Last week we learned that even Judas has a role to play - his role of betrayer was so important it is predicted in Scripture. This whole process gets kicked off with Judas playing his role. Now Jesus talks to his friends about the role they all must play; and John records this in his gospel because he knows there are some important truths for the church about the role we play in God’s plan as it continues to unfold.

Once Judas leaves, Jesus starts by highlighting just how important this moment in history will be, saying, “Now the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.”

When we say “glorify” we often mean talking something up, making it sound better, downplaying its bad points. Some talk about how Christmas glorifies commercialism and consumerism by focusing on buying presents and spending money on things people don’t really need. 

But “glorify” means something else too: it means when something reveals how great it really is. It’s not until you fully decorate your Christmas tree and turn on the Christmas lights that you can experience the tree “in all its glory”. And that’s what Jesus is saying here: his crucifixion is not talking God up, but is in fact revealing God in all his glory, because Christ’s death on that cross is the ultimate act of love for humanity

And Jesus says “now; at once” because this isn’t a shameful death that maybe one day will be seen by future generations as a good thing. He’s saying right at this moment we see how great God really is, in this time of betrayal and denial and despair and death, we see God in all his glory.

And because of that, this is a role that only Jesus can play. Only God can save us, and only God is worthy of such great glory. So here he is, dying the death that we deserve so that we don’t have to. That’s why Jesus says, “Just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: where I am going, you cannot come.” In chapter 7 Jesus had said this same thing to the crowds, and the people listening thought, “Will he go where our people live scattered among the Greeks, and teach the Greeks?”  They aren’t clueless though: in chapter 8 they know that death is involved in what he’s saying. There Jesus tells the Jews “I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.” This made the Jews ask, “Will he kill himself? Is that why he says, ‘Where I go, you cannot come’?” They knew he was saying something about death.

And it is about death, but not only Jesus’ death. It’s about what happens after we die. That’s why Jesus says to his opponents, “you will die in your sins”.  They will look for a messiah and they’ll never find one, because he was standing in front of them the whole time and they rejected him. They will certainly die, but where Jesus goes they cannot follow.

In today’s passage when Peter says to Jesus, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now?” he knows it has something to do with death too. That’s why he offers “I will lay down my life for you”. And Jesus knows that Peter will in fact die for his faith – church history tells us Peter was crucified upside down for his faith – and so Jesus says, “You cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”

Why can’t Peter follow Jesus where he is going now? Because Jesus is saying his role is not just about the where – death – but about the why – to redeem the lost. You can almost taste the irony in Jesus’ words when he responds to Peter, “Will you really lay down your life for me?” If our salvation relied on Peter dying for us, or him dying for Jesus, we’d all be toast: before the rooster crows he’s already denied Jesus three times!

Peter wants to host Christmas dinner, but he doesn’t know how to cook, he can’t even afford a chicken, and the lease on his house expired on Christmas Eve. Nothing is gained by Peter offering to lay down his life for Jesus at this point. He might be passionate about Jesus now, but as Jesus points out, that passion won’t be enough to carry him when the rubber hits the road. Jesus has a role to play that is his alone. Jesus isn’t being harsh about this to his friends – he calls them “my children”, which is a huge term of endearment – he’s just being realistic. As God’s son, Jesus has a role to play that no-one else can.

Why might that bother us? Why aren’t we always happy to just let Jesus be Jesus and step in to save us from ourselves? Oh, there’s so many reasons. Maybe we hate relying on others, and want to be able to do everything ourselves, so having Jesus die for us makes us feel weak. Maybe we feel we’re not worth it, and having God’s son die for us is too big a price to pay, so we should really pay it ourselves. Maybe we think God is too easy-going, and there are people he dies for that really shouldn’t be saved, to the point that we’d die to keep them out; or maybe we feel God needs to be more generous, because some of our loved ones have turned their backs on him, but really they aren’t bad people so they should make the cut, and we would die to get them in.

Jesus is saying here that’s not our role; it’s his role. It’s God’s price to pay, it’s God’s love to show, it’s God’s glory to be revealed. We all want to follow Jesus, but this is one thing we can’t follow him in. We don’t get to be God. We have to let Jesus be the Saviour.

And that’s okay, because like Christmas, we all still has a role to play. And it is a most excellent part that we get to play, because Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

How is that a new command? That sounds like a typical Christmas message, doesn’t it? “Joy to the world! Love one another! Merry Christmas!” We hear this all the time. Was it new to them? Jesus already said that the Old Testament laws are summed up in Love The Lord Your God, and Love Your Neighbour As Yourself. Nothing new about those commands!

And yet this command from Jesus is so important that Jesus repeats it in John 15. There is something so amazing, so striking in this new command, that John repeats it in his first letter to the churches 11 times, and then twice more in his second letter!

So what is it about this command that is so striking? Well, I think for starters it’s so simple! “Love one another” – it’s a C4K lesson, it’s Sunday School stuff. And yet those of us who have been around a bit know that it only gets harder –Jesus says “as I have loved you”, and the more we understand how much Jesus has loved us, the more we realise how hard it is to really love one another that way. It shows us just how high God’s standards are, how impossible it is to reach them, and yet how worthwhile it is to pursue them anyway. Have people in the church sometimes hurt one another through trying to love each other? Sure. But whatever harm might have been done by people trying to follow this command and doing it badly would certainly not have been reduced by them not trying to follow it at all. Loving one another is always a better way.

But there is a trap here. It’s really easy for us to let this command blend in to the other things that Jesus said about love, like “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” But Jesus’ command is separate from that. “Love one another” is, in a way, an exclusive command. “One another” is not everyone. He’s talking to his friends, to his disciples, telling them to love each other. And of course this doesn’t deny or downplay what Jesus has said elsewhere about loving your enemy, or loving your neighbour, loving the marginalised, the oppressed, the sick, the poor. We know that Jesus did all these things, and we should follow his example. But Jesus also picked people out of the crowd, people he travelled with, spoke with, shared life with, gave a new command to. Think of all the special moments he shared with the disciples alone. Jesus loved his disciples, and his command is for them is to love one another as he loved them.

There’s an amazing story about the Apostle John that is passed down through the early church fathers, and written down by Jerome in the 300s in his commentary on Galatians: “The blessed John the Evangelist lived in Ephesus until extreme old age. His disciples could barely carry him to church and he could not muster the voice to speak many words. During individual gatherings he usually said nothing but, "Little children, love one another." The disciples and brothers in attendance, annoyed because they always heard the same words, finally said, "Teacher, why do you always say this?" He replied with a line worthy of John: "Because it is the Lord's commandment and if it alone is kept, it is sufficient."”

I love that story, because to me it embodies just how much these words, “love one another”, touched John’s heart, just how important they were to him. But perhaps you’re asking, “Why did Jerome record this story about John in his commentary on Galatians, which was written by Paul? Why isn’t it in a commentary on the gospel of John, or one of John’s letters?” Because Jerome tells this story in his commentary on Galatians 6:10, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” That is what it means to love one another.

Someone once said it this way: “It’s not that Christians love the world less; it’s that we love one another more.” I’d say that as Christians we love the world more if we love one another more. Look at Jesus’ words in verse 35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” This love that seems so exclusive, so inward focused, is actually the way that everyone will know that we are Christ’s disciples; it’s one of the things that makes joining the kingdom of God so attractive. The way we love others tells the world about Jesus; but the way we love each other in the family of believers makes people want to be a part of the family.

And this makes so much sense! Have you ever found yourself alone at Christmas, without family to celebrate with? Before Penny and I were married, I was part of a small number of young men in my church who didn’t have families to celebrate Christmas with. When people in the church realised this, they started inviting us to their homes to celebrate Christmas with them. Sometimes it would be other people who also didn’t have their families close by to celebrate with – they would invite together a group of Christmas refugees, and we’d celebrate together, and that was lovely.

But I remember one year I was invited by one family to join them for their family Christmas. There was mum and dad, and grandpas and grandmas, and the kids and cousins – and me. And they sat around a table weighed down with food till it was creaking, and they laughed and ate and drank and prayed and enjoyed the day together – and I was there. I got to see how that family treated each other, how they celebrated with one another, how they loved one another. And of course I didn’t fit in – I didn’t know their Christmas traditions… I didn’t even know everyone’s names – but for a young man who grew up with family Christmases where everyone got drunk and angry and violent, seeing how this family loved one another and kept Christ at the centre of their Christmas made me desperately wish I was a part of their family.

As followers of Christ, disciples of Christ, friends of Christ, when we go out and love others, we are not just inviting them to follow Christ, but to join us in following him. And when we love one another, we show them that that invitation is worth accepting.

How do we love one another? That’s a sermon in itself! But I’ll say this, something that I think is reflected in the people to whom Jesus first gave this command: there’s something about how you form a community that helps people love one another. Jesus’ disciples spent regular, meaningful time together; they were a group bonded together by Jesus, and yet they had a willingness to be open to others. In my mind those things are all vital to allowing Christians to love one another. That describes bible study groups, prayer groups, other small groups… and it can even describe a church service and even a whole congregation.

But for it to work, for us to be able to love one another effectively, we have to spend regular, meaningful time with one another. You might have a discussion about the footy over coffee every Sunday – that’s regular but not meaningful. You might be willing to share about your life with people, but you only turn up twice a year – that’s meaningful but not regular!

We have to have groups that are linked together by Jesus: if all we do is listen to sermons and then rush off without talking to anyone, or if we choose to sit at home and watch the sermon on YouTube at our leisure, but never actually meet with others, we love Jesus, but will struggle to love and be loved by one another. And if we join a local cycling group, we may love and be loved, but we may not share the bond of Christ.

And these groups have to be open to others joining – otherwise the idea of loving one another as an invitation is wasted! Of course we love our families, but realistically, unless you’re going to adopt a bunch of people, the only time you ever really invite people into your family is when they marry one of your kids. We have to be able to invite people into our group so that when they see how attractive the invitation is, they can actually accept it.

Obviously I’m not saying we need to avoid casual conversations, or cycling groups, or having families! I’m saying that as well as loving our families, as well as loving our neighbours, as well as loving God, if we are going to follow Christ’s new command, we have to make time in our lives to love one another as the family of believers.

That’s not always easy, even once we make the time! I think back to Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, which talks about the five big ways that humans express love for each other: physical touch; words of affirmation; acts of service; quality time; and giving gifts. It can be tricky, because the way we show love is also the way we expect love to be shown, and we can sometimes miss each other. And we’re not perfect! Think about Peter: he wasn’t perfect, he didn’t fully understand what Jesus was saying, he wanted to do something that wasn’t his role, and he couldn’t even stick with Jesus till morning. But he loved Jesus and loved the church, so much that he eventually did die for them.

So brothers and sisters, this Christmas, as we seek to love our families, and to love our neighbours, let us also love one another, because it is the Lord's commandment and if it alone is kept, it is sufficient.

 

How are we doing that, Waitara Anglican? It’s Christmas, and we have Christmas services, we’ve already had Christmas activities, and a lot of it is geared towards inviting others – loving them enough to offer them an invitation to join us in what we do together. And it is so important that we hold open the doors of church so that everyone feels welcome to come and join us in following Christ together. But do we also make sure that when they come they see a community of friends who love one another so much that they can’t help but say, “See how they love one another!”?

 

 

In 2019 Penny and I flew from Namibia to New Zealand to attend the wedding of Emily Stoupe nee Smith, who for a time met with us here at Waitara Anglican and helped a lot with the music. We had walked with her and her fiancé through very difficult times, and of course wanted to be a part of their wedding. I actually gave a very nerdy wedding talk about supervillains at their wedding. But one thing that completely amazed me was seeing all the members of the women’s Bible study run by Emily Carpenter. They all took the time and effort and expense to fly to another country to attend the wedding of someone who couldn’t even continue being a member of their Bible study anymore! Those women love one another.

Penny and I could tell our own story of how loved we felt while we were in Namibia, receiving prayers, emails and financial support from the church and its members. And the church in Namibia felt loved too, knowing that their Christian brothers and sisters here in Australia were prepared to send a theologian all expenses paid to teach them at their Bible college.

So as a church, we definitely have it in us to be loving to one another, to make show others that our invitation is worth accepting. But I am fully aware that not everyone in church always feels like that. A few years ago a wonderful Christian family man, involved in church, told me that he felt more loved, more supported, more cared for by his weekly cycling group than he did by his church. And I was so sad. But probably not as sad as he was. How does a church – an organisation with full-time pastoral staff, small groups, a whole raft of programs aimed at people young and old, and rosters of volunteers including literally a job that involves welcoming people – get trumped in loving one another by a bunch of guys in spandex riding bikes around and drinking coffee?

Maybe we could flip the question over to ask of the excellent example we have of Emily’s women’s bible study group: how did they cultivate such love that you could see it from outside and made you wish you were a part of it? My first thoughts are that they spent regular meaningful time with each other; they were a small enough group to get to know each other well and grow bonds with each other; and they were willing to be open to each other about their needs.

Those three things – regular, meaningful time; a small enough group to bond; and a willingness to be open – are common to the Bible study group, the cycling group, and even to us as missionaries.