A Poem

This poem was written by a friend in NY (New York for you non-USA people) who heard my sermon on psalm 22 (listen to it yourself here), and was moved to write a song of complaint herself. I call her Pame. Enjoy.

Dear God

Why am I so alone, Dear God?

Is it because it's what I choose?

Is it because i'm afraid of what I might lose,

Because I am so selfish?

I question daily, what my purpose is, here.

If it is really mine, or something theirs,

And constantly I wonder if anyone cares,

Even You, the Lord.

Why do you test me,

Make a jest of me?

Then again it might not be them,

It might be You, it might be me,

Living in this space of uncertainty,

That You might exsist at all.

Who will catch me when I fall?

Seems like it always has to be me.

Where is someone supposed to be?

Where are You?

Am I to settle into a blanket of uncertainty,

Constantly?

Are You, God simply a crutch,

For when I feel I have done so much,

Or so little for those around me.

A simple figment of imagination,

Who shuns with complation?

Not just you God,

Why do they all forsake me?

Am I so weak as to,

Only use you to speak through,

When all is falling apart?

What are the real depths of my heart?

Where can I even start..

At the middle or the end?

Where do You bother to come in?

Why should I even believe?

Is there even room to comprimise,

What is Your disguise then?

What am I supposedly going to recieve?

Or should it be me the one I despise,

Not You?

Show me that my doubts are untrue!

It's as if I have lost my spine,

And all the promises,

That You have made,

Through other people's writing,

Is supposed to entwine

My faith, so simply.

Tell me how to behave,

And why I should enslave,

My soul to You.

Is it too late,

To believe?

I Pray,

Lift me up from this misery,

Take me in your arms and make it all

Blasphemy.

Take away my sufference for a day,

Make it all go away,

Just for one day,

Dear God.

I Pray.

Show me.